I am a total klutz.
True, I have joggled a half-marathon without dropping a ball in one hour and 22 minutes; I can juggle five objects and perform dozens of juggling tricks. I can stand on top of a stability ball and do squats.
But three recent incidents have convinced me that when I’m not trying to do something that takes coordination, I’m a klutzy dork.
1) The other day I was joggling on a 22-mile long run. At one point I wanted to cross the street, but had to step over a little metal barrier, so I stopped joggling and went to step over the obstacle. Bam! My knee smashed right into it. When I got home I discovered that my running tights were covered in blood from a big gash in my leg.
2) After joggling home from work through ice and snow a couple of weeks ago. I made it safely to my house, but when I stopped joggling and went to walk between two parked cars. Wham! I slipped on a patch of ice and smashed my shoulder into the road.
3) A couple of nights ago, I spent about an hour working on a 5-ball juggling routine. I went upstairs to brush my teeth and at the top of the stairs … BONK! My head cracked loudly into the door frame leading into the bathroom. I was left with a swelling and bleeding cut on my left eyebrow.