How not to start your marathon training plan

When you are about to start training to break a new Guinness World Record for the fastest marathon while juggling three objects, do not smash up you knee - as I did earlier this week - while trying to jump over a parking lot barricade.

This will result is a lot of pain, and many lost training miles (and even more lost training kilometres).

Once my knee heals, I'll be rearin' to go. I plan to do several weeks of pure running before I start on the full-time joggling. I want to make sure I'm in peak running shape this time around to give me that extra speed edge.

Here's some developing joggling news: I got an e-mail from my Jolly Juggler rival Zach Warren, who is currently doing some research in Dubai and Qatar. He is unable to run because of his schedule, but said he'd be up for another joggling re-match at the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon this September if he's back in the U.S. We thought Salt Lake would be the end, but it's too hard to stop.

In another stunning joggling development, Barry Goldmeier pulled off yet another 5-ball joggling marathon in San Diego recently, finishing with a chip time of 5 hours and 40 minutes. If you think this is slow, try juggling five beanbags ... then imagine trying to run forward for 26.2 miles while you're maintaining that juggling pattern. Barry's been trying to convince me that joggling a 5-ball marathon may not be as difficult as I think. I'm not yet convinced.

This Sunday, my wife and I will be testing out two velomobiles with Ray from bluevelo: the WAW and the Versatile. I want to see if I can get the WAW up past 50 km/h. This will give us a feel for what these HPVs (human-powered vehicles) can do. If we decide to get one, it'll probably be the Mango, which is not available for testing right now, but is best suited for city driving and for shorter drivers (ie. Dianne, who is 5'1").

Weird knee injury

Here's the start of the Toronto Father's Day Run for prostate cancer research. Look at the dork juggling!

Three days after my humiliating parkour hurdling injury, my shin is still massively swollen from knee to ankle. I also have a very strange knee injury that allows me to run without pain (although I haven't ventured out on an actual run) but I can't walk up or down stairs properly, and it hurts when I stand up or sit down. As long as I can run, I'm happy. I don't need to sit down.

Joggler's parkour career over before it started

Back in March I wrote this post about being a klutz when I'm not joggling or juggling.

I further proved this point yesterday after work in a painfully unsuccessful jump over a parking lot barrier. The casual shoes I was wearing were too loose. As I jumped up to hurdle the metal barricade my shoe flopped around a messed up my take-off and the next thing I knew my foot caught the edge of the metal and I crashed ignominiously to the ground.

I would have been embarrassed were it not for the excruciating pain in my left shin, which took the brunt of the impact. After hobbling to the subway the trying not to whimper out loud on my trip home, I went to a walk-in clinic to get the damage assessed.

There was a big gash in the shin about 8 cm long, but it wasn't deep enough to warrant stitches. It feels like I might have torn something in my knee, but it's too hard to tell with all the swelling around the surface wound.

So for now, I rest, and contemplate my future now that parkour has been scratched off my Things To Do Before I Die list.

Joggling the Father's Day 5K

I snoozed the alarm in my sleep and almost missed the Father's Day 5K. The whole family slept in and I was the only one to make it out to Toronto's Distillery District for the prostate cancer charity run.

The distillery is a perfect venue for a run like this. There's a tonne of space both outdoors and in, and the roads in the area are flat and almost traffic-free.

I used my Sport Juggling Co. racing beanbags and started out in the lead. But a drop at 1K took me back into 2nd place, where I stayed until the end. I finished comfortably in 18 minutes, so I still think a world-record, sub-16:55 is doable on the track.

It's good to be joggling again.

Ray from Bluevelo e-mailed me today to let me know that I'm booked for a velomobile test drive next Sunday. I'll be trying out the WAW and the Versatile. Can't wait!

Why joggle a marathon when you could just do this?

I think I need to start choosing easier Guinness World Records to beat. He didn't even break a sweat!

Introducing the Magic Slimming Pill

When people find out that I joggle and chase world records, and that I work as a personal trainer with Fitness At Heart, they often ask what the secret is to losing weight.

Here it is, the Magic Slimming Pill:

1) First, you eat your Magic Slimming Pill (a Jelly Belly in the flavour of your choice will do).
2) Next, you do some type of cardiovascular exercise every day. and ideally some strength training twice a week.
3) Then you eat moderate portions of healthy food frequently, including vegetables, fruit, legumes, whole grains and lean protein. Avoid trans fats, too much fat overall, heavily processed carbs and other mass-manufactured crap that poses as food because it tastes good. Don't drink too much alcohol, unless you're at your best friend's wedding or your own wedding or have another good excuse to do so.

Sounds easy, right? Wrong. Our current North American society is not designed for this type of lifestyle. In order to take advantage of the Magic Slimming Pill, you need to go against the grain of society, which has been designed to keep us as static as possible by shuttling us around in motorized vehicles of one kind or another and inventing devices to keep us sedentary.

We also live in a world where processed food is the most convenient to obtain. When I walk through the supermarket or convenience store, I often wonder what percentage of the total food in the store is healthy. My rough estimate for a supermarket is maybe 10% or less and for a convenience store, maybe 1%.

The magic in the slimming pill is daring to be different. Be a maverick: get regular exercise and eat real food in moderate portions.

Pondering a 10-mile joggle

I want to joggle the Canada Running Series race on July 15 in Toronto.

The question is: Do I joggle the 5K and try to break the 16:55 world record, or do I do the 10-miler and set a 10-mile personal best? Even if I break the 5K record, I probably won't get it certified because I'd need video footage and witnesses. It may be better to save that one for the track.